NO ME

I am late. Horribly late, even by my standards. My lazy bum not permitting, i would've been late by a zillion years. A four month delay is something that i didn't imagine in the wildest of my nightmares. And yes, perhaps by being contrite here, i am trying to show the importance that i attach to this mere insignificance in the gargantuan meshes of the internet. Maybe it's because whatever it is that i pour out here is a part of me; my reflections in their most rudimentary, yet coherent form. Maybe because what is out here is finally a semblance of me that i have concealed from the world. I have lived incognito........throughout .
Why I have never revealed what i actually am like, even i don't know. Maybe its because i would have felt vulnerable and to use the word, "naked" before all of you. Or maybe because somewhere in my messed up head there is an indefatigable attraction towards enigma. On taking a pause and contemplating what i have just typed down i wonder with a sense of bemusement... was it me who had jotted down these lines? Even I don't know myself.....
You wrote down slam sheets for me; you wrote down testimonials for me... yet each one of the descriptions offered by each one of you so varied. I even tried searching myself in them....in vain.
In spite of all the temptations that you might offer me to be me, i shall live the way i have been living. I shall be judged by you; i shall give you the satisfaction of appraising me; yet you'll never reach me...... for it is my disguise ; a mere shape that shall be present before you. And you can only wish before I, in my true form shall appear and vanish: IF YOU COULD KNOW ME...