INEBRIATED RANTINGS OF AN ENLIGHTENED MIND

anger is perhaps the most fulfilling of all the emotions. what it gives to us is beyond the power of any other feeling. the feeling of unadulterated anger rushing through your veins, subduing everything that surrounds you and enclose you in sheer exhilaration, is purely orgasmic . the instant surge of untamed power coupled with the onset of the awakening of our atavistic feralis is gratifying. to become the way nature has intended us to be is like a home coming. we all are savage...and that is what anger, which is a manifestation of our longing to be what we innately are, allows us to do.
anger.....is what i am filled with when i think of the past...a rage so brutal that even i am afraid to confront it. anger... is what i seek solace in when i think of old, dilapidated, derelict bonds. a rag doll; that is what they make me appear... use and throw...hate...black...sick and tired...redundant..bull shit.. friendship..dear...damn you....idiot...photograph...fake.screw you...love....whatever.
random words echo in my head. my anger pounds my head like a merciless thunderstorm. and i enjoy it. it is my punishment for being the fool that i was. it liberates me.... i am being purged of my sins.... absolved of all the guilt. there are no tears but fading memories of what was and eluding promises of what might have been. was it so difficult to comprehend? was i blind? or was it my faith in the faithless too strong? sycophants....leeches....that is what i think of you. lay off me. i know you now..............my anger gets a justification.

RESTIVE IN PEACE

why i keep coming back to this place , i don't know. maybe amidst all the chaos that is there in my life, this is the only place which belongs to me. i own it. its mine. no matter what happens to me, it will forever be imprinted by my identity. i am free; liberated to do whatever i want. unrestrained is what i become here. but then a thought flashes my mind... what is it that binds me? what is it that is holding me back? is it the fact that i contemplate over things that i can not change? or is it my inability to come to terms with reality and take things in my stride? i think i live too much in a state of self denial; trying to find reasons and logic in things that are beyond me. i try to find explanations where there are supposed to be exclamations.

I vs i

The opening line of every post throws new challenges at me. I simply have no idea where to start from. Should I start with something funny? Or should I write something completely pseudo intellectual and create a pseudo intelligent image of the post, no matter what incoherent mumblings I pour out in it? I believe at times writing a new post for your blog is similar to solving maths... the feeling is uncannily familiar and exasperating to say the least..
Ah! I mentioned maths!! Let me see... Oh...and I do find that i have placed the word "exasperating" close by it. And even knowing fully well that as and when I become an engineer I would be expected to propound the beauty of an insanely insane subject, I truly and and sincerely hate MATHS.........
Oh, come on. you cant despise me for hating the damn "thing". I mean if ever there was a subject that has made me look stupid, helpless and very very pseudo engineer like, it has to be maths.
A subject that goes on promulgating theories about stuff like i(iota) which, for the love of God ,doesn't exist must be the creation of the most wasteful minds of all times. I mean how can we talk of something that is "imaginary" and more precisely write theorems on its absurd uses is beyond the comprehension of a pseudo intellectual brain like mine. If such absurdities are allowed in what is called the language of science then we must not condemn JK Rowling for talking about magic. Damn you and the hypocritical world that you have offered me Euler....
May your soul rot in an argand plane of imaginary repose....