Sunday, April 24, 2011

Apogee:- Journal Entry of the Wolverine

It's that night again... the night of the full moon. Bright. Large. Beautiful. Inviting... And deceptively wretched... In all its grandeur and outlandish magnificence, there is this treacherous, rabid, dark side to it, which multiplies itself on such nights, and invokes the feral, uncouth, untamed, hidden facet of mine which I dare not disclose to those around me. This moon, this shining orb, that supposedly soothes others with its gentle and calm light, torments me with its wickedness... it makes me dwell in my sub-conscious and pick out strands of living memory that I had so carefully buried in a chest, and disposed of  in the dark recesses of my brain... it subdues me with its magnetic power of allure and weakens my resolve to remain stoic... it makes me feel; and in the process reveals the humane side of me. That heavy mask of nonchalance will be put down and my primordial self will arise, once again. Tonight....I become myself again..
The wind has been quiet for sometime. Not a leaf moves, as it surreptitiously slithers through the mesh of hollow branches of the trees... the network of their wooden limbs reminding me of the skeletons in my closet. All of them silent witnesses of events; tragedies, disappointments that my longevity has made me suffer.As I meander in my reverie, the wind picks up, breaking the silence that hung between my present and my past. It howls as if possessed by the souls of those who had come and gone.... my countenance is now lined with furrows as I can feel my composure breaking... the mask will come down now...
The Wolverine has awaken... 
My serene, composed self, now thrown out of control; makes me draw out my claws- sharp, saber-like, ruthless and unbreakable- they shine sanguinely in the twisted moonlight, that slits through the curtains across the window in my room. 'Solid Admantium', I remark, as I am thrown back, pensively, in an era gone by, where my innocence was shattered into multiple fragments and the mutant in me, descended. I slit one of the veins in my forearms; drops of blood trickle down in a very slow, suspended animation... I don't feel anything... I watch with a deriding smile on my face, as the scar heals automatically, leaving no trace of any damage. Immortality... something to die for, is it? I think of what pain used to feel like; when  wound marks, lining my memory used to make me realize of my own mortality... All of it is gone; all of it; so fuzzy and blurry; and what is left is a ravaging mutant; a monster; destined to wander with a cursed existence.
Dawn is about to break, my sojourn about to end. I retract my claws gaining some control of my muscle memory. A vulpine shriek escapes my lips.... the moon had been particularly cruel tonight.. it made me pine for something that can not be...At least for now..............
Time to put back my phlegmatic mask again. It's an ordinary day now, in an ordinary world, again..